


Bittersweet Her

by The_Jade_Goblin



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Poetry, Sad, personal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 20:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13795599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Jade_Goblin/pseuds/The_Jade_Goblin
Summary: An original poem, about a girl I once knew





	Bittersweet Her

**Author's Note:**

> Recently I’ve been made to remember, quite painfully, the only girl I think I’ve ever loved, but never told her since I was clueless at the time. I haven’t spoken to her in nearly three years, and my sudden Feelings about her have made me feel some type of way…so I decided to write it down. I might as well post it here, I don’t think she’ll ever see it. I’m not even sure how to find her again anyway, so I thought I’d share some poetry with you guys.

Once, I loved a girl

The girl I loved with warmest eyes, and sweetest smile, and kindest heart  
The girl I loved with a turbulent smile, and turbulent heart, and turbulent eyes  
I’ll never know if she loved me too, or even if she ever knew  
That I loved her so much  
I stopped hating myself

Once, I loved a girl  
When I was young and lost, she was a radiant light, and I a moth drawn to her flame  
When I was young and lost, the darkest depths of my mind, only lightened by her   
She was all I had, yet all I needed  
And even I couldn’t tell  
Just how much I loved her

Once, I loved a girl  
My golden girl from across the sea, from the land of the golden lions  
My golden girl, on Baba Marta I made her a martenitsa  
It was purple, not red and white, I had no more wool, but she smiled so bright  
And I knew it was loved  
But was it enough?

This girl that I loved,  
As we got older, she drifted ever so slowly, out of my life  
And I, like the obedient moth, tried to follow her light  
But I could not follow  
I lost my angel   
And embraced my demons

This girl that I loved,  
She left a hole deep inside me, with nothing to fill it  
Her golden light would not shine for me again  
I missed her, but I wished her well  
She didn’t need me. I wish, sometimes,   
that I didn’t need her

This girl that I loved,  
I never knew her name  
I never saw her face  
But I knew her  
And I loved her  
And I lost her

I wish I had told her then  
I wish I had known what I felt  
But I didn’t  
And I missed it  
And I lost her

You may have your Juliets, your Guineveres, your Elizabeth Bennetts  
Your Cleopatras, Aphrodites, and Persephones too  
For I loved a true goddess, if only I’d known that then  
Maybe she could have loved me too  
Do you think she would have loved me too?

This girl that I love,  
Her memory is distant, yet fond  
I wonder, if she could ever know  
Just what her light got me through  
Just what she did to me, what she gave to me  
She saved me, gave me my reason to live

I wish I could have thanked her.  
She worked too hard, she worried too much, she lived too hard  
Could I have given her peace, could I have made her happy?  
She called me Rella, and a princess I was only under her gaze  
I knew her as Mono  
Monokalisto

And I loved her  
And I missed her  
And I lost her


End file.
